This past week has been full of stress... stress that has ultimately made me question myself as a person and as a Mom. So it was wonderful to take Camden in to his 18 month appointment and get a few words of encouragement from his doctor. She just reminded me that I was doing a good job as a Mom and that having three kids this close together was HARD! She said she didn't know many mom's that could handle it. This was out of the blue after no mention of a rough week, and it was perfect. A major fault that I have is that I have a hard time asking for help, or admitting I can't handle sometime, and I even have a problem putting too much on my own plate. So I am learning (slowly) how to say "no", and it is hard because it is like I am admitting that I can't to everything. Here we have been entrusted with two beautiful, good kids by their birthmothers and so I need to be able to be the "perfect" mom. I understand that this is pressure that I put on myself but I would NEVER want anyone to be disappointed in me.
So today I was lifted up and encouraged and for that I am thankful. If you know me personally and some days I seem distracted or quiet please remember it isn't you, and if you are friends with me and wonder why I haven't called or emailed much lately please don't take it personally, I think about you daily and wish I had more time to be the friend that I want to be. And lastly, if you are wondering where I have been on this blog and wondering how the kids are, please remember that I have a LOT going on right now with three little ones. We are all doing good... WONDERFUL actually. I love my job as a Mommy, it really is a dream come true and I wouldn't change anything about it. The most important thing to me is my little family and sometimes that means that other things have to be pushed aside until later... until every day isn't go go go trying to keep up with three hyper toddlers/preschoolers. I don't want to wish time away but I am looking forward to when I can be a little bit less of a referee.... it is QUITE tiring to say the least!!
I want to thank those who when I do talk to remind me that my life is normal, that my kids are normal! Those who after I get off the phone I feel encouraged to be a better mom. Those who I can laugh with about how crazy life is and talk about things like how we don't remember the last time we could close our eyes for all of prayer in meeting. (I remember actually... Camden fell out of his chair the last time I did so.... eyes now back open!) Those who I can talk to free of judgment and fear of saying the wrong thing. Thank you!!!!!!!
I am not writing this to make anyone feel bad but more for myself to remember what these days have been like... to be honest as a mom. I feel like with facebook and even blogging, all you get is an unrealistic picture of motherhood. We tend to put on a smile and try to be supermom when really inside we just try to make it until Daddy gets home! Don't get me wrong, I love every moment of this craziness I call life. However, please be patient with me, I am a Mommy first.
And I will get off my soapbox! I do have another post that will be coming soon... another ski trip, two staples in Camden's head, and of course an 18 month update!